sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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