Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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