I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
3pm strippers are depressing
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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