oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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