I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
