It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
