This girl is more easily done than said...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
