You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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