My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
