i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
