ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
