I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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