Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Shame is for Republicans.
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