I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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