I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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