didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
