i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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