The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
