My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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