I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
