god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
