fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Yo dont text me then not text me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
