hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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