i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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