There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
