it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
