No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
