yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
