Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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