yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
