There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
