My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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