You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
