My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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