You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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