We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
