The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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