You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
