Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm like, not good at living.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
