Kiss
Puke
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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