she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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