Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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