You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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