Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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