I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
