oh god the rape fog is back!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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