There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
