I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i out mim tonsoeep
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