I wanna bring you to show and tell
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Are we still banned from the library?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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