Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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