I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
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