We're facebook friends in real life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
