You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
