I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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