he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
