New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
