she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
