...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
