p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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