Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
