You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
