Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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