Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
