508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
