i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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